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Post by CountElmo on Oct 4, 2005 23:59:00 GMT 1
Hello, dear friends!
Are you sick of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound like Hallmark cards and never come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that speak of true loyalty.
1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry s.o.b. who made you sad.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will know you've finally had sex.
4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.
6. When you are confused, I will use little words.
7. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well again.
8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at you.
This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why, you ask? Because you are my friend.
Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two, and one of them isn't speaking to you anyway.
Remember, a good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.
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Chicken
Supermember
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Posts: 93
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Post by Chicken on Oct 6, 2005 8:32:48 GMT 1
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baseman
Supermember
Master Jedi Obi Bas Kenobi
the plants said:" we will fight the stone with root and sten and seed. We are patient. We will win."
Posts: 724
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Post by baseman on Oct 6, 2005 22:28:40 GMT 1
ssssssshhhhhhhht Jan Lies leest het forum ook
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Chicken
Supermember
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Posts: 93
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Post by Chicken on Oct 7, 2005 8:21:31 GMT 1
Meen je dat nu echt
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Post by CountElmo on Oct 7, 2005 9:19:26 GMT 1
PONDERISMS
* I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
* Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
* The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
* Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
* There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
* Life is sexually transmitted.
* Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
* Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
* Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
* Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
* All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
* In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
* Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
* Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
* Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
* Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
* Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
* If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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Chicken
Supermember
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Post by Chicken on Oct 10, 2005 14:05:07 GMT 1
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Lies
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Photoshop Princess
Posts: 57
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Post by Lies on Oct 10, 2005 21:03:50 GMT 1
ik ben wel meer gewoon dan dit hoor..
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